I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
