Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
