hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize