I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
