is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
