I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
