my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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