So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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