I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
