Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
