Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
