this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
