I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
