I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
