I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
