i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
