My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
