my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
