I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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