Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
