I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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