I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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