So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
