she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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