What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize