I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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