Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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