dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize