she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
