Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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