You can't motorboat a personality
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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