I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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