I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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