You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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