I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
