to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
