Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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