HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
