Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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