"it" just moved
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
