Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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