i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
