Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
