i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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