you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize