there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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