so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
