I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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