Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
