I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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