I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Terrible idea I love it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
