You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
