how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
don't judge my taste in strippers
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
