just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
