I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
