Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize