College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
