I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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