I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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