you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
