there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
